- Listeners are either beavering away on PhDs or drilling into the Arctic ice, looking for the Top-Down Passage, dreamt of since cartography began in the late 80s.
- Potential French Ridge comes out at Counter-France (theoretical, like Dark Matter).
- Does the bollocking (below) count on a Fifth Wednesday? Something to chew on as we all summer (apart from southern hemisphere listeners, to whom: 'Happy Christmas')
- Crab bell (6:09)
- Reflecto-bollock (10:21)
- Satire (10:57)
- Fifth Wednesday (12:48)
- Paul (Senior Lecturer at the School of Earth and Environmental Sciences, Saint Andrews) emails with a bollocking. Always time to squeeze one in, even on a Fifth Wednesday. He bollocks Henry about the bit in haircuts where Henry says no one who has visited the Louvre or the Andes has said the words 'chalk and limestone'. The Lady of Auxerre in the Louvre is made of Cretan limestone and the rocks of the Huancane group in the Andes in southern Peru contain limestone beds. Paul feels that limestone has been besmirched by 'wooly-back Paker' (a hate crime!). Mike doesn't think geologists should be throwing personal appearance stones, with their calloused fingers. Henry must challenge Paul to a duel (quartz halberd (Mike: don't know) vs sheet of slate jerkin (Henry: don't know)).
- The Beans don't know anything, there's nothing inside, like a burnt-out shell of a crab that's been taken for a joyscuttle up the Aldi car park by some teenagers or a packet of biscuits with none in (cos the teenagers took them out to go joydunking). Listener experience is like the empty biscuit packet but filled with flaming turds that they must stamp out. Henry doesn't accept the bollock: on seeing the Lady of Auxerre at the Louvre (where Henry is right now, in a roped-off exhibit as 'Podcaster'), no one is thinking 'limestone' apart from Mike cos he's read it on the blurb (except he would never go to the Louvre). Henry compares the Andes' limestone beds to climbing Snowdon, where no one is thinking 'granite' (Mike forsees a bollocking from a professor from Bangor). Nobody meeting Henry is thinking '90% water' (10% beef). Henry reflecto bollocks on the basis that when you meet a politician, you don't think '95% lies' (3 types of political satire: they're liars, it's all spin, and sex things).
- It's good that these things are scrutinized, isn't it?
- He's fallen hook, line, and plonker.
- With a side salad of 'Fuck you!'.
- If you scratch the surface of this podcast, none of us know what we're talking about at any moment.
- We're just carapace; no meat.
- The listener experience: you've got a PhD and turd on your shoes... and no biscuits.
- Same goes for the Andes.
- Change of government, no change of the swingeing satire.