¶ Opening Chat
- Boo-boo (technical? human?) greatest ever episode not recorded
- Mike raised on "too much Morse"
- "Choose your own podcast adventure conversation chat" by picking a) pigs b) crabs c) Russell Crowe
- "Prince Edward is being assaulted by a crab, why?"
- Can a computer do lukewarm banter? - robot chat (Henry's robot with low self-esteem)
- Ben was the first person in the Kingsway Subway - political reasons for not picking italian herb and cheese bread
¶ Topic Chat
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Bean Machine whirrs into action at 11:18
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Rainbow "Geoffrey was the man" "no! Geoffrey was the hippo" and the subsequent apology
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Bungle vs Chewbacca
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70s/80s mens names and 8 million Mikes (Henry inexplicably talks about sweetcorn) - Mike playing a Mike and a Michael but at least the character has a name, typecast in scampi jobs - "Scampoo" the feature film - "can you scampi anything?"
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American food with lots of cheese
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Ben the perfect fusion of jock and nerd
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Rainbow theme tune - the puppet race of the Cold War
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Jeff or Geoff (and what that says)
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Geoffrey Chaucer, kissing an arse and "a bit of blue"
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Dr Custance saying the word gonads
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Gonad Day (March 3rd) - discussion about plant genitalia ("daffodils have got foreskins Ben", "3 in 100 sunflowers have cock rings") - the pagan festival of Gonad day - gonads popping up in the bath
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Jeff Bezos and his penis shaped spaceship - billionaire's hen-do
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Ben says you run faster if you're not wearing trousers - getting a boner when threatened "flight, fight or fuck" - "a bungled robbery" - babies sucking the faces off giraffes and the evolution of this
¶ Emails
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40:12 - Time email section starts
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- Paris - fighter jet flew over their house and thought they might die to Henry talking about removing a stain from his rug. Suggests mouthwash for carpet stains. Henry gets tied in knots with double negatives
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- Scott (in Torbay) "the most horrifying night of my life" (Mike "the live show?") and his delirious fever dream involving the Beans. Euthanasia rhea (you need to book in advance) and the state of the Marriott hotel room - ridingthefeverbean.com.uk
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- David - Snyder's have halted exports due to European standards on refined oil.
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- Jaz - explains that she is the scientist who said they didn't think octopuses come from space. Her work in Antarctica included weighing angry teenage penguins. Henry accepts he is antagonistic to the emailers
¶ Jingles
A very jingle-heavy episode
- 22:25 Pompidou
- 25:25 America jingle (burgers)
- 35:15 Lewd Content Warning
- 35:57 Regal Zone
- 1:01:39 Flightless Bird Zone
¶ Theme Tune
- Will - theme tune for "Law and Order: Flightless Bird Division", complete with Bean voiceovers
¶ Notable Quotes
- Imagine Joe Rogan meets Mark Kermode, and they’re both surfing on adjoining surfboards and playing a full rally of badminton with each other.
- I’ve been raised on too much Morse to be able to handle unclear endings. I want it tied up in a bow.
- Have you ever played a Mike, Mike?
- You pour more of the cheese on! And then you add cheese to the cheese! Then you cheese up the sauce nice and cheesy!
- They saw our man in a bear suit and they raised it a woolly mammoth, didn’t they, in the puppet race of the Cold War?
- The scales fell from my eyes, and I realised life was for me, life was worth living.
- Daffodils have got foreskins, a tulip is basically a circumcised daffodil. They are absolutely disgusting, and they’re doing it in plain sight!
- Bring out your gonads!
- Gonads to you my good man!
- Fight, flight or fuck!
- Hold onto your hollyhocks.
- www.ridingthefeverbean.com.uk
Kelly Vivanco's Show Art