Mike has been in Aberystwyth performing to a small pod of dolphins who gave "harsh but fair" feedback
Mike's screen freezes on the punchline (they can tell by his face) "his eyes went all black like a shark's eyes", like an Italian Courtier about to stab someone
Stabbing the swordsmith with his own sword
Henry "fleetingly freezes" with the facial expression of someone delivering the wrong currency
Henry thinks Mike would have made a good Italian Courtier, making love and murdering people alternatively, playing a mandolin, "unfoxable", eventually being hacked to death by cuckolded counts / bludgeoned to death by the town (killing him with their professions ie lute makers or "The Profiterole League") and then feasted upon.
Pedalo business = "slow death by sea"
Ben asks for 90 seconds of professionalism (Ben is the professional), they discuss the jingle vibe: a spork free picnic, (Henry interrupts with a story about ordering andouillette and it containing organs / cysts / steampunk meat/ cartilage that rolls across the table like a marble "a benign growth" with a candle in) then the bean gets shot out of a canon, it gets violent and then Henry suggests that the 60s are over - they suggest the format of the show is boring and they make up a cinema based one with Jason Plemons (Jesse's possible cousin)
Contrived intro from the Beans (Jason Plemons is dead) - new professional is unprofessional - the world warmed by 3 degrees everytime the Bean Machine is turned on -
Idealized Bean Machine scenario jumpstarts Bean Machine at 20:30
Henry did a self portrait in oils at school and was too ambitious, kept lobbing more paint on it and was troubled by the painting - Ben suggests this was representative of the inner Henry
Doing a deal with the devil is not worth it (Henry wants a train you can drive like a car, infinite hamper on a mid priced buffet trolley including zero-G crisps)
Going out with Helen of Troy; she won't watch Squid Game, Ben suggests Mamma Mia, Henry suggests Greek-dubbed Teletubbies, she won't like homework, needs vaccinating and wears baby clothes. Mary Beard is helping out by interrogating Helen and cooking moussaka. -
No cooling off period for the devil - Henry's hell is ironing an infinite shirt, but Satan will "bodyfloss" him at the same time
Prince Charles is pre-caricature
Derren Brown does good caricatures and as Henry has been disparaging about him before Ben suggests this is an apology. Mike suggests it is professional jealousy - Ben thinks caricature is a "dog-shit art form"
Impressionists vs actors
Mike playing Anthony Hopkins at every stage of his life but won't lose the moustache (will use green tache technology)
Mike suggests his balance is off / voice shrieky (agitated rooster death throes) without the moustache - they discuss Mike's missing mid-face (a robot would mistake it for a squid), like a cliff that has dropped off (but without Tom Cruise hanging off it), the top half of Mike's head will slough off into the sea in heavy rain. Henry suggests Mike's face is like "a fucked ping-pong ball" (Mike says he's boiled his head many times and his parents tried reinflating it with bicycle pumps).
When Mike was 9, Tom Selleck sent him a moustache on dry ice (which will be haunted by Tom Selleck when he dies) - Seeing the truth of what you actually look like
Henry suggests glass is just liquid, Mike and Henry suggest what the Shard will look like in the future
Henry discusses being bald and self image when he was losing his hair, Henry does an Italian voice for his Greek barber Cosmo who always charged £4.50, seeing infinite bald Henrys in a lift - tailoring images to Ben by using ham and a room full of ham and "living in a ham reality"
Henry / bald men putting deli ham on their head on hot days, Italian masters making concave ham / ham balaclavas
54:00
Kelly Vivanco's Show Art