¶ Opening Chat
- Bean emergency and Henry's broken microphones
- A"racy" content warning
- Cynical attitude to the Pompidou section
- Listening through your nose, eating through your ears
- "you bore through with the fusilli"
- Malteaso, the Italian version of the malteser
¶ Topic Chat
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Bean machine runs at 5:51
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Romantic singing
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Henry embodies romance the most
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Complicated marriage proposals, hiding a ring in an underwater cave - feeding a ring to an eel then shark then orca, your arm gets bitten off by a shark, you wake up realising you're married, your severed arm is attached to your body and actually your head was severed and kept alive by wires and nutrient fluid, your wife is actually married to an eels head on your body its 4053 and everyone is married to eel men, "thats a-moray", "he was a bit of a cold fish", "in the bedroom things weren't electric" - eels spunking into the sea, "complicates the usual Wednesday night love making"
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Mike keeping the romance alive in his family - Mike's proposal at Hay Castle, earnest Mike and going on one knee to signal that it was not a dumping, pre-dumping, Mike's smelly shoulders
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No more jousting for someone's hand in marriage - the Princess farts on the hankerchief and on the door of her bedchambers and you follow the scent for an illicit tryst
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Giving someone your hotel key "room 315, bring 20 Magnums" / little milks / batteries for the remote - watch the end of Newsnight then getting into the hoist with flipper hands and beak shoes, 2 dummy mini kettles due to assassination threats
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Romance vs military attacks - Pam's romance (the omni-honeytrap), possible romance between Pam and Hubble "she's not interested in the D at all", "dog romance lacks a bit of finesse on the whole" - dogs and sex positions - The St Bernard with his barrell full of lube for the sex-starved Alpinist
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"sex jingle" - children listening to the podcast, Patreon kid's version, Mr Bongle with his St Bernard with a barrell full of lube (BP ending himself laughing)
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Henry being the most potty mouthed, especially when embodying Russell Crowe
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Bluebell's one hot Summer (like Grease), sexually attracted to Henry, use her like a "wah-wah pedal"
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Teenage romance and letters to a 35 year old Deutsche Bank executive
¶ Emails
- 40:00
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- Ron - USA fake mayo, Robocop defining America in the 1980s, no idea what a brollie is, no idea what Branston Pickle is
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- Freeb from USA, could you do the podcast in English? Charming Brits and the British section of the supermarket
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- Alex saying all teenagers thinking the USA is shit.
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- Martin from Luxembourg and his Tesco buy 1 get 2 free. Henry slagging off the anecdote.
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- Michaela finding Henry "very attractive", photography by Idil Sukan. Additional livestream plug, H:"sexy lighting" M:"pitch black"
¶ Jingles
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0:11 - Pompidou bean emergency - Pompidou 1.34:
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20.10 Interlude
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31.33 Lewd Content Warning
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31.36 Pompidou (sped up)
¶ Notable Quotes
- Put it this way, she was married to an eel but in the bedroom, things weren’t electric!
- Before you say anything, I dump you actually!
- I’ve heard tell of her golden tresses, my liege. Her tresses are the talk of Aquitaine.
- Room 315! Bring 20 Magnums!
- Never attempt a land romance in Asia.
- She’s a wiry beauty.
- Dog romance lacks a bit of finesse on the whole.
- Mr Bongle’s brought his dog. It’s a St Bernard with a barrel full of lube.
- Oh it’s too wide-bore for Mr Bongle!
- Oh Henrik! I don’t want to play squash any more with ze business people!
- I think we may have lowered the bar on what a good anecdote is, due to the nature of the content we produce.
Kelly Vivanco's Show Art