Henry Paker's Costa Diaries' Entry 4,337:
'Dear Diary, I'm terrified! Overnight, all the Costa staff have disappeared (like on a submarine but in reverse). I now seem to be the expert in all-things-Costa and really have to resist the urge to show them the ropes. (Though I may need to tell them at some stage that I'm kind of a big deal around here...)
Hang on a minute - did I even eat today's panettone? Ah, no, I didn't buy one after all. That'll be it.
Mike and Ben wonder if the new staff here have been transferred from the Education Camp or perhaps are battle-tested veterans from other stores. Whatever the case, as it's their first week, I have decided to go gently on them by not bringing in my usual, external sandwich.
Today I risked their Korean Noodles (might be a great panettone ingredient - fusion food! - I think there is nothing that can't be panettonied!)
NB. Short of being in the beating heart of Seoul itself, if you want to enjoy Korean food, get yourself down to a Costa.
Bit worried about Ben and Mike's remark about my Costa not being a coffee shop at all but a PhD thesis. Now I think about it they may be right - or perhaps it's training for a mission to Mars and I'm the stowaway dickhead? No, unlikely - I don't think the staff really mind me going to the toilet at 6.05 every night.
There was a new staff member serving the noodles today and I helpfully suggested she microwave them (I was worried she might have flame-roasted them instead.) Perhaps I shouldn't have backseat noodlesplained but, overall, I believe I was a helpful and reassuring presence.
(Verdict on the Korean Noodles: Institutional British sort of Cabbage Cuisine.)
Ben thinks I'm the Costa equivalent of a familiar old bore in a pub. Found that quite offensive actually as I'm not like that at all.
I've made a point to keeping my distance from the staff so as not to hurt their feelings - 'Courteous but aloof' is my motto (like with Jan and Ian on holiday in Knossos).
Ben and Mike questioned my work ethic (again) and suggested I only go to Costa for the wifi. Only partly true.
As it turns out, none of the staff said goodbye to me and I only heard about them leaving from other customers. I'm surprised. And wounded 
As I said to Ben, 'If I'm sincere then I make myself vulnerable and I basically start gushing and may not stop.'
So I'm glad of this break between series 3 and 4 as it gives me time and space to grieve...
Buck up Henry! 'Ways of Seeing, with Henry Paker' is on the very near horizon! Personally, I see it as a foot in the door for a landmark series at the BBC. Infact, perhaps I'll just head out for a walk - I might bump into Yentob 
*Oh, just heard a theme tune sent in by a dub-step producer turned robotics engineer called Jonathon. Interesting to hear a 'Glitch-Hop' version made on his laptop but I'll say one thing: he's no James Galway.'
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