- Framing device: Ben calls Mike during his month off. Mike's opinion is that Henry does the art, Ben does the work and he... doesn't really know why he's there.
- Mike is spending his time off re-ordering his le Carrés (an absolute time hoover) in order of preference for re-reading. The display cabinet is behind an iron curtain so that Mike can say he's "going behind the Iron Curtain" but it's hard to find someone in Devon who makes iron curtains.
- Ben is sorry he rang Mike, so tries Henry, who's on Eamonn Holmes' yacht. Henry has paid for use of the yacht but Eamonn is insisting on being there and wearing the captain's hat. They're currently wrestling massive marlins.
- King Kong rant from islands.
- The SAS bit of the TA on a mission in Germany from dystopia.
- Dr Custance and Gonad Day from jeffreys.
- Poker night with the boys from buffets.
- SpooOoOOooky Bluebell and the spider from titanic.
- Will's Law and Order: Flightless Bird Division theme from jeffreys.
- St Bernards, Mr Bongle and the origin of the lewd content jingle from romance.
- The Beans steal a plane and crash land from islands.