- Ben has seen Avatar 2, finding it quite hard to process. Don't want the podcast becoming an Avatar fan podcast. Feels dated, because of the music "off the peg 90s Hollywood ethnic". Likens it to the advert for a bank with a feral child diving for pearls to Karl Jenkins' Adiemus. Everyone in Cheltenham and Gloucester are in the Pearl industry. Non-specific tribal, embracing tribal to the extent of having a small leather necklace with a shell on it.
- Omnibank and their global take over - they will secretly drain your pension fund. Advert needs breathy panpipes and "hama-hama-heya-heya-ha" chanting. Music composed by someone who hasn't been abroad but just looked at the cases of the world music CDs in HMV. Mike suggests there is likely just one vocalist (the hama-hama-hey lady who has taken the hama-hey dollar). Telepathic sea cucumbers vs robot crabs. Ben and Henry suggest Mike goes to see it, the idea of which makes Mike feel "tired all over".
- Annoying mini-Tarzan character, looks like you've tried to genetically splice a 90's surfer in a loin cloth. He is in scenes with CGI characters when he has to wear his actual loin cloth - though everyone else has to wear ping-pong balls on their knob. Cameron now uses any small balls for CGI - Brussel sprouts at Christmas time, petanques (that's just another word for bollock, petanques on view), Maltesers on a Friday. Jokes about the script being balls whilst having balls on their bodies.
- No emotional stirring from any of the deaths in the film. Everything so generic and "weirdly perfect" unlike real life (Hunchback of Notre Dame).
- Mike is worried he might actually like Avatar 2 should he go and see it. Henry would rather go for technology than natural medicine for his toothache. Avatar 2 has nap potential, which has Mike sold and he will hit Cineplex Scarborough whilst he is on tour.
- Ben(ji) sings "The Whole of the Moon" by The Waterboys.
- Were the '69 moon landings real? Henry makes the mistake of saying that all involved are dead. Ben talks about a video of Buzz Aldrin hitting someone. Mike tells of Buzz Aldrin visiting Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital expecting an astronaut and it was a disappointing middle-aged man in a suit.
- Ben has a signature of Michael Collins "the guy that gave them a lift to the Moon" (not the Irish revolutionary). Henry talks about the moon landing being like a heist so Collins needed to stay in the ship for a quick getaway (not on RAC policy).
- Buzz and Neil went to the Moon in a "lunar podule". Whilst talking, Henry has sketched a lunar podule and also a slice of bread with Liam Neeson written on it. Henry then gets David and James Cameron mixed up. Henry wrote Liam Neeson because all of the aliens in Avatar look like Liam Neeson (not credited) because all the money got spent on the hama-hama-heya woman. Liam Neeson's face is out of copyright as he is over 50. Liam Neeson played the other Michael Collins, would be a good mash-up movie.
- Henry thinks Louis Armstrong is called Neil Armstrong, of course he was there for the trumpet operated thrusters (stop putting the cover thing over the thrusters to make the cool noise). Neil won a game of tic tac toe to step on the Moon first.
- Discussion about noughts and crosses and Henry buying his nieces a game of Connect 4 and the disappointment that it isn't an auto-self-charging PlayStation.
- "One small step for man..." discussion - Neil got this wrong, but it is a good quote. Some quotes are not good such as "fifteen minutes of fame" and if a guy called Brian (who weaves kelp) said it rather than Andy Warhol it would not be good. Brian Windsor is the real name of King Charles. Henry tasks Ben ("fucking bland") and Mike ("incomprehensible garbage") to say inspiring things when stepping on the Moon. Henry's attempt is an Omnibank advert, they sponsor the Moon. Someone wrote Neil Armstrong's line for him. The Beans are wordsmiths and Ben sees words as prized stallions and breeds them as stud words. Henry suggests that when Ben is employed as a writer, he sees it as selling his semen (veterinary transaction helpful from a tax perspective as "animal spunk is a tax-free dividend").
- Samuel's French version of the email jingle is played (Ben thinks it is his favourite). Sounds very Serge Gainsbourg. Mike feels like he's been on holiday. Ben asks Henry if the French is true to the original jingle but Henry had forgotten. Asks for a French jingle - Henry worries about clichés because the Beans have never done a cliche on the podcast.
- Ben: had a bike crash at University and had to have six Sitz baths a day and had to soak "like a pervert's teabag" in a shared bathroom. Henry describes a sieve with the holes filled in ("a bowl?").
- Bean Machine (18.52)
- Neil (Grade 7 on bassoon, first man the moon) (32.01)
- Regal Zone (34.58)
- Samuel's French version of the Email jingle (39.55)
- Listener Bollocking of the Week (44.19)
- Reflecto-bollock (48.52)
- Patreon (55.28)
- Louis - Mike mentioned his tour as his Harry Styles moment, but Zayn Malik left One Direction first. However, the Beans had a fourth Bean who has already left - Josh Rogan (Joe Rogan's brother). He wanted it to be the Rogan Josh Josh Rogan show where every episode involved a rogan josh curry. They haven't disproved Josh Rogan's theory that eating an ivermectin rogan josh would stop you getting Covid. They also had a fifth member Ivor Mectin, whose job was as a horse tranquilliser (he would strangle horses until they were supine). The communications for the podcast were very busy, it was not a pyramid scheme. Ivor has now been part of the biannual human sacrifice. Mike doesn't feel he can accept a bollock based on One Direction. Henry "shazammed" two songs last year that were by Harry Styles and had to "retrouser" his phone. Ben saw Harry Styles doing a cover of Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel on YouTube and recommends it. Mike might watch this when watching Avatar 2. First reflecto-bollock from Mike, maybe this is the year he finds his bite.
- Annual Municipal Bin Collection
- Chris from New Zealand (near Diamond Harbour) - "New Parental" version
- We don’t want this podcast to become a sort of Avatar fan podcast.
- That’s the sound of a pension fund being drained.
- She has ham-a-heyyyy’d her kids through college.
- The idea of it is making me feel tired all over already.
- Bit of Waterboys is it, Benji?
- But is it a coincidence, Mike, that all the people who went on that mission are dead? / They’re not are they, Buzz Aldrin’s alive, I think?
- One small step for a Neil, one giant leap for Neilkind.
- Here he comes, it’s your old friend Neil / He lives his life with uncommon zeal / He’s Grade 7 on bassoon / And he’s the first man on the moon
- Incomprehensible garbage!
- OmniCorp sponsors: The Moon!
- Continuez de haricoter!
- We’ve never done a cliché on this podcast.
- That’s the first reflected bollock from Mike.
- I tell you what, I’ve never re-trousered my phone that fast in my life.
- Then I had to soak like a pervert’s tea bag for another 10 minutes.