- No episode this week because the "people at the Gregorian Calendar" are ignoring the Beans' letters, emails and Gregorian chanting about fifth Wednesdays. They have no interest in rebranding Wednesdays as "Beanday" or "Non-Beanday".
- The Beans "keep it lunar" (the Moon being the ultimate celestial bean) by only doing 4 episodes a month. Ben on Napoleonic Calendar. Henry on "Seasonal Vibe" (drinks available in Starbucks). Mike on "Seasonal Veg" (today is The Ides of Turnip, can't activate electrical equipment in gooseberry season).
- Well wishes for the end of March, nothing ever achieved at the end of March. Henry suggests self-composting ("introduce the worms").
- Ben feels April will be big for the Beans and Britain, pre-Coronation rituals.
- Have to be "Coronation Body Ready" ("are you wearing just some Speedos?") dress code is "skimpy and just have fun with it". Charles might be "crown only".
- Mike has a +1 on the zeppelin for the Coronation, Ben is in the top 10 of options for this but not top 3. Should Mike give his tickets to Cormack the Onion Child for security reasons?
- Henry watching from inside the throne ("moth's eye view").
- Parents of Bobby Yuille wanted a Sean Bean Lounge shout-out for his 12th birthday, but no lounge this week so birthday greetings offered.
- Twelve is peak press-ganging age, he should wear a cycling helmet at all times. Bobby listens to the podcast and recites it, though encouraged to use "listen not to the horse" for The Regal Zone jingle.
- If Coronation is "crown only" for Charles, might be quite a "sensual" event. Gary Lineker might be pouring sacred oils onto his face. Henry doesn't want to become accidentally anointed. Don't want an accidental King Henry IX, might result in civil war.
- Mike says "crumbs" for the second time.
- Patreon plug from Ben with some tidy advertising.
- Ends with Ben's song, "Say No To The Fifth Wednesday".