¶ Opening Chat
- Recording in 2014 because Ben wanted to mark 100 years of WWI, which is why Mike is dressed as Franz Ferdinand from the waist up and Spanish regalia from the waist down.
- Conversations with actors at urinals.
- "Waiting for Godot" in silly voices and thinking about insurance.
- Henry's trousers didn't fall down (due to humiliation boner?).
- Russell Crowe as Pozzo.
- Mike's one-man-band version of "Chess".
¶ Topic Chat
- Everything is tubes.
- Snakes are honest animals.
- Brain is a poorly packed tube (that can reach Wales).
- Seeing celebrities on the Tube or train.
- Getting into a bath genitals first.
- Avoiding awkward conversations on the Tube - "I invoke fanjambo" - monetising fanjambo - "he fanjambo'd his own mother!" - Ben can only play an anthropomorphised ferret - pellet first, questions later.
- Live lukewarm banter.
Kelly Vivanco's Show Art
¶ Emails
- Before any emails are read out, the Beans discuss the need for an email jingle, and Henry's request is for said jingle to sum up the technological wonder of email while doffing a cap to the old postmasters. The sound of a horse being shod (or shot) by a machine is also discussed.
- Ando - submariner, 75 horsepower wind would be terrifying and propel a ship to the speed of sound.
- Wednesday night on the submarine was curry night.
- Bluebell on a Tornado.
- Beefy submariners and unnecessary "henchness"
¶ Jingles
- Pompidou (0.14)
- Digestive Tract Talk (24.11)
- Lewd Content Warning (33.46)
¶ Sean Bean Lounge
- Monster Truck Derby – keep it monster – 14 patrons
¶ Listener Theme Tune
- Introduced by Henry - Kathy Rivett's dog Barney and violin version
¶ Notable Quotes
- Did [Sandi Toksvig] hold the keys to a definitive Estragon?
- Ssssh! I’m trying to concentrate on our home contents insurance darling.
- Henry Paker plays Mario playing Estragon!
- Had the humiliation given you a humiliation boner?
- Swashbuckling suggestion from Benjamin.
- Mouth to anus, we are a tube.
- But my unconscious brain decided to tell my mouth to start singing the song “Going Underground”.
- I saw Michael Portillo, but I didn’t sing at him.
- Most people of course go into a bath toe first, but Henry’s not cut from the same cloth as the rest of us.
- You could have had a major influence on the bus network in Gwynedd, on the Gwynedd Tubes!
- I invoke Fanjambo!
- If you subscribe to Fanjambo with our opening package, £7.99 a month, you don’t have to talk to anyone you knew from school.
- He Fanjambo’d his own mother!
- They are Fanjambo’d at source.
- In fact, we could use that in the ad, couldn’t we? And me and Mike could do voiceovers and even face unders, for the roles. We could play them!
- And who doesn’t want to talk to an anthropomorphised ferret?
- BAM! You’re pelleted! BAM!
- Pellet first! Questions later!
- He can handle “lukewarm banter” and being used as a sleep aid, but do not come for his cartooning.
- I put it to you that horsepower is not a great wind unit.